Candace Wade takes a tongue-in-cheek look at the newest Barbie equestrian toy to hit the market.

Barbie is back in the saddle.

Still a fashion icon in her slithery “dominatrix” schooling tights and matching pink helmet, Barbie is proof that diet, exercise and being plastic will keep you on a horse well into your maturity. At 56, Barbie shows how to perform a standing reverse-flip right into the saddle. She does caution that there is a “choking hazard” — I know I would choke if I attempted that move. Let’s see that one again:

However, is Barbie a good role model for mature riders just learning to sit a horse? Evaluate that straight leg position. She doesn’t appear to have a deep seat, vital when riding without stirrups and reins (let along vaulting into the saddle). At least she did opt to wear a helmet, which she’ll certainly need if she’s going to keep riding like this:

There are also some serious debates about whether or not her mount is a reliable beginner-friendly partner, or a dangerous steed who will try to buck his rider off:

And his penchant for rolling in water is also a little worrying:

Barbie, I learn a lot about staying youthful from you, but I will take my riding instructions from Julie Goodnight.

Go riding. Just maybe not like Barbie.