Best of Craigslist: Stop It Edition

No matter how many times I think I’ve seen it all, Craigslist is there to remind me that everything I think I know is really just one tiny drop in the bucket. Get ready to be amazed.

In this week’s “Best of Craigslist,” we’ve got a great lineup of ads that will make you question everything you’ve ever known: from your run-of-the-mill misspellings to bad photography to ads that are unintentionally hilarious, it’s all here in one dark corner of the Internet for your viewing pleasure.

We’ll kick things off with this chuckle, sent in by Kaitlyn: “Should be titled ‘small farm starter kit!'”

Yep, there you go — a whole farm for just $1500. Then there’s this ad from Merwie: “Ok, I feel like this Craigslist post can’t be for real…” We agree — surely this is a joke! … right?

You know what, we’re not even gonna try to explain that one. We’ll just move on to this gem, sent in by Carrie:

I’m so glad that the seller felt that this was information we definitely needed. The details were lost on this next seller, who’s obviously banking on the trailer being such a deal that no one will ask about the horse included, from Lynn:

1984 Cirlce J Xtra Tall 2 horse straight load trailer for sale. $2,300 OBO. Lots of life on Les Schwab Tires. Easy on & off divider. Electric Brakes. New bearings on double axel, escape door, hay doors and tack room door all functional, replaced fiberglass roof with a metal ($1000) roof. Replaced/Rebuilt floor. It can safely haul a single horse stock style or 2 horses with divider. Great beginner trailer I have owned it for 21 years. Must Sell. I purchased a 3 horse Circle J. I do not need 2 trailers. 14 Year old Arabian Mare for sale also. $1,000.00 or $3,0000 for the package.
email or Text is best way to communicate.

Lynn sent us a whole trifecta of trailers — here’s the second leg. Warning: they get weirder as we go.

This 2 place horse trailer I bought 4 years ago as a fixer, really; as a learning tool and a definite fixer-upper. I got into an accident and I’m moving so out it goes. It is in good shape to move, the axle and tires alone are worth the money, but Not to use to move horses just yet. It’s for someone who can fix things or wants to learn. There is no title as I bought it from a ranch in oregon that made it and only used it to use on the ranch. The frame is in good shape but rusty but I thought I could learn and build it the way I wanted it. Not only that but I have a horse that is 17-2 hands and it’s a little to small for him

Yikes. Oh, but you ain’t seen nothin’ yet: this last trailer from Lynn is a real beaut.

Older harse trailer.pulls nice.has lights.good axles, springs.rear swinging door.lost title.cann do bill of sale.needs one 14.5 tire.

Back to the horses: there are some questionable measurements (and terminology) going on here, from Kaitlyn:

12 year old reg standard breed 16.5 hands rides and drives…. both parents reg very sweet teeth an shoes just done at farrer …. no rear no bit no kick very gentle

And the same could be said of this ad from Bonnie:

I’m selling a Quater Male horse he is 2 in a half years old he neutered he trained selling him for 750 obo call me

If it’s not broke, but it’s pretty and female, then yes! By all means, sell it as a broodmare … from Kaitlyn:

This pony has a gorgeous natural high stepping trot. That said, she is not broke, she’s 10 years old. I’ve had her 3 years as a pasture ornament only. She is very sweet BUT she has been mismanaged in the past and has learned to go calculatingly bizzirk to get her way. I was told you could ride her but not drive. I don’t know anything about training horses and she has worked out well for me just to have around to watch and pet and eat grass but she needs someone who really really knows what they are doing or just wants a brood mare. She is fearful of angry or irritated attitudes. She responds well to calm and patience. She is blind in her right eye, I suspect as a result of earlier shenanigans or a mean or frustrated owner. With patience and kindness she lets the farrier trim her feet. although her feet are great and trim themselves so I only have it done once a year. Easy keeper, gets fat on grass but loves grain and begs for it. She’s too good a horse to be just sitting around and I am too old to do much with her. call or email with any questions.

Perhaps the above broodmare prospect could be paired with this stud prospect from Brittany: “Atrocious spelling? Check. Poorly fitted tack? Check. Train-stopping ability, blue eyes and still has his balls = perfect stud horse material? Probably. Stunning conformation photo with excellent lighting that absolutely showcases potential of the horse in question? ….may have missed the mark. These were literally the only photos on the ad.”

This juxtaposition of headline and photograph are totally on point, from Christina:

Race horse thoroughbred bay color has papers jockey club tip of slew broke to ride but mainly racing good temperment full of energy proof of papers

And we’ll wrap up this week’s collection with this brainteaser, from Kaitlyn:

Readers, if you run across an “interesting” ad in your Internet wanderings, send it our way! Email the link to [email protected]. Who knows – maybe you’ll help connect a horse with a safe, loving home. Go Riding.