Lost in Translation: Horse Classifieds, Decoded
Just because it has spots does not make it work an extra $5k.
[top image: David Allan/CC]
As you know from our regular Best (Worst?) of Craigslist column, horse sales ads can get pretty ridiculous. But what about the hidden meaning behind more innocuous-seeming horse ads? Thankfully, as a former English major, I am well-equipped to read between the lines.
(Names have been removed, photos are not originals, and ads have been altered to protect the guilty.)
Original ad
ISO: A confidence-building, quiet horse able to ignore rider nervousness. Needs to be a BN and Novice packer with show experience and possibly will be going to do a few jumpers. Must be over 15.1h, sound, uncomplicated, an older horse is fine and preferred. Budget is under $5k.
Translated ad
I had a bad accident and am now afraid to ride, but eventing seems awesome.
Original ad
Free to Reliable Home: 16.3H, 12yo Holsteiner mare. Ongoing maintenance required. Companion & light pleasure riding, no beginners.
Translated ad
ISO someone to take over my aging horse’s bills. By the way, she’s not not mareish.
Original ad
5yo Chestnut mare, 16+H. Super polite, great manners, no known vices, bathes, clips, comes to fence to be caught.
Translated ad
5yo Chestnut mare, 16+H. Super polite, great manners, no known vices (but possibly some unknown ones?), bathes, clips, comes to fence to be caught.
[Wikimedia Commons: Лена/ Public Domain]
Original ad
I have this 17hh 5yo Hanoverian. Extremely athletic- gaits and talent for a pro and temperament like a big puppy. Just imported. Has all xrays. Asking 100k neg.
Translated ad
Thinking of buying a second beach home? Why not buy a green horse instead? If you think about it, it’s actually saving you money in property taxes.
Original ad
QH cross with clean legs, great feet. He is comfortable to ride, no spook or buck, crosses water and bridges willingly. An experienced rider would be best since he is well trained and sensitive to leg and hand.
Translated ad
A) An experienced rider would be best since he is sensitive and will literally explode if you don’t have the right leg-to-hand ratio.
or B) If you screw up my horse’s training I am going to cry.
Go Riding!
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