‘We Don’t Have Tack For That,’ Presented by ThinLine: Etsy Helmet Edition

In honor of the upcoming Riders4Helmets International Helmet Awareness Day, check out this one-of-a-kind lid showcase.

Our source? The Internet’s one-stop-shopping destination for all things random: Etsy, of course.

Let’s kick off the freak show with this English Riding Helmet Topiary that would look smashing in any home or office…

Etsy store: VillaTopiary

Here’s a 50’s Unisex Jared Hoffert Equestrian Helmet paired with some rather unorthodox riding attire…

Etsy store: DetroitVintage

More vintage hunt caps modeled by creepy manikins…

Etsy store: VICTORIASVINTAGE4U

Etsy store: BlackCatBoneVintage

Etsy store: BrightwoodLane

Etsy store: SheilaBoop

Etsy shop: MTTC

…or this random hipster guy…

Etsy store: Scandimania

…or a sock monkey. Look at the little riding crop!

Etsy store: SockMonkeyMountain

Haven’t you always wanted a 1950s Retro Table Lighter in the Shape of a Motorcycle Crash Helmet Horse Riders Helmet?

Etsy store: BiminiCricket

These helmet covers/fleeces from HeatherWearHorse are actually really cute.

Omg, it’s a dragon! Love. It.

This one is more high-concept.

Etsy store: TheStitchingHorse

Sparkles, yes:

Etsy store: CreationsBoutiques

And then we start getting into the weirdy stuff. Like this Moschell Riding Head Piece, a steal at just $725. The description reads: “A coveted treasure. This thick, red, felt, vintage riding cap was taken to the heights of head couture as I adorned it with huge German glass doll eyes, paint, a rare mix of feathers, a silky ponytail extension attached with scraps from a favourite old shirt covered with vintage pins and then … REAL horse teeth! A one of a kind creation.”

Five words: What. Would. George. Morris. Say?

The end. Microphone drop. Walking away. Can’t beat that, not gonna try.

ThinLine pads can’t stop you from blowing $725 on the most disturbing riding helmet ever, but they WILL keep you and your horse performing at your best. ThinLine pads use non-compression technology to dissipate impact and pressure, creating a more comfortable riding experience for you and your horse.

Check out ThinLine’s complete line of shock-absorbing saddle pads and other products for horse and rider, including saddles, horse boots, hoof pads, tack and more. Be sure to follow them on Facebook and Twitter as well!

Go ThinLine, and Go Riding!