The Secret Life of McKenna & Dorito: Gah, nobody gets me

In this week’s column, 15-year-old McKenna rants about how her lame teachers and non-horsey friends keep trying to crush her riding dreams.

From McKenna:

I’ve started taking Drivers Ed. I go to school, have a 30-minute break which involves me harassing my photography teacher or my friends about how we need boyfriends… Anyway one of my best friends, Jackson, is taking it with me. We both happen to event and we even ride at the same barn, so needless to say we spend a lot of time talking about horses. Our other friends just look at us like we’re crazy as we talk about how we need to get out, or what shows we’re doing, or about how we want to go down south so bad–and it ain’t for a tan!

As a horseback rider of 11 years I’ve had my fair share of injuries. My 7th grade year, I had some broken fingers, almost a few fractured ribs, a nasty road burn from getting dragged, and lots of bruises! Needless to say, almost every week I had something new on my body. I’m pretty sure my school was one more injury away from calling CPS on my parents.

As I’m sure you have all experienced, talking with non-horsey people usually proves to be very interesting. Explaining horses is like trying to explain why dunking your fries in a Wendy’s frosty is delish.

Here are some of my best riding conversations:

Picture this–I’m in French class talking with my teacher, who will be referred to as F and myself as M.

F: Have you ever thought about not doing riding for the school year?

M: Um, no. It’s not really possible anyway.

F: Well, don’t you think it’d be a good idea? And why not?

M: Erm, no? I love riding and besides I have a horse and I have responsibilities with him. I just can’t toss him aside or give him to someone else like a goldfish.

F: Well, I’m sure you could find someone who could take care of him. And remember, it would really help you with your school work! Also, riding seems really dangerous so it would be good to have less of a risk.

M: It’s not that easy, and chances of someone doing that are seriously slim to none. Not to mention I LIKE RIDING. And just because there is a chance of getting hurt while riding doesn’t mean I should stop. Do you not go on walks because you could get hit by a car?

**silence**
**in my head: yeah that’s what I thought!**

Last October, during my first year in High School, I decided it’d be a great idea to crack my upper arm in half… and get a concussion. Yep, just as I was about to get off Dorito spooked, sending me flying off. Somewhere in there, my upper arm (humerus) literally broke in half. I’m not joking. I wasn’t back riding until February and had over five months of Physical Therapy. Folks, I advise against you breaking your humerus (or yourself, period)–it’s extremely painful!!
As you may imagine, I was hopped up on loads of hardcore drugs so I missed a fair amount of school. Here is a conversation I had with one of my science teachers at the back end of my arm problem. Teacher=S, Me=M

S: So how’s your arm? Are you back on your horse yet?

M: Yep, I’ve ridden a few times! Not back to jumping much and my rides are usually pretty short but it’s still something!

S: Oh that’s good! Aren’t you kind of afraid to get back on?

M: Nah. I fell off at the walk 10 feet from the barn.

S: You know, I had a friend who was thrown from her horse, kind of like superman, so she died.

M: **frantically trying to come up with a response** Oh, I’m sorry! But yeah, we try not to think about things like that because if we did it would just end badly.

**did she really just tell me that?**

Well kids, by the time you read this I will have experienced the extreme hotness of a Hunter Hayes concert. The guy is smoking… I digress. Be back next week with the down-low on Hunter and another crazy post. Till then, auf-ee-do-zen!
MEO

Drivers ED: 1. Skinny table 2. Ditch and wall 3. Large table 4. Water jump with jump.