Losing and Gaining Confidence: Losing a Trusted Equine Partner
“Just the thought of losing my heart horse is enough to make me sad. There’s always that one horse that feels like home when you swing a leg over it — the one that you feel safe riding no matter the circumstance. But what do you do when you don’t have that horse anymore?”
Horse Nation is excited to announce a new series that will focus on one of the trickier parts of riding: confidence. Confidence is one of those fragile elements that, once shaken, can be hard to regain. In this series, staff writer Marcella Gruchalak will discuss a variety situations that can cause a rider’s confidence to crumble and practical approaches that have helped her rebuild her confidence.
As riders and competitors, we know there is a nearly infinite number of situations that can decrease our confidence level while riding. These situations can be anything from taking a fall to losing a trusted equine partner to browsing other people’s social media successes too often. Any of these factors can create uncertainty, fear, and/or difficulty finding enjoyment in the sport.
In this series, I want to focus on a variety of these situations and discuss ways to work through them. These are all things that I’ve experienced, and the methods I am discussing are things that have helped me regain confidence as a rider. We’ve all been there. The experience of losing confidence — for lack of a better term — sucks. But, if you keep putting yourself in the right situations and state of mind, the confidence does come back.
Losing A Trusted Equine Partner
Luckily, I can say I haven’t permanently lost that special horse that makes me feel confident when I ride. However, I have faced long lay-ups with my most trusted horse Buns (JC name Funny Bunny B — you can read about his injury and rehab journey here).
Photo courtesy of Marcella Gruchalak
Just the thought of losing my heart horse is enough to make me sad. There’s always that one horse that feels like home when you swing a leg over it. The one that you feel safe riding no matter the circumstance. What do you do when you don’t have that horse anymore?
Here are some ways to regain confidence after losing your beloved equine partner or losing the ability to ride/compete on that partner:
- Make space for remembering the horse. Enjoy the memories you had of riding this horse and understand that grieving is a normal process and your feelings are valid. Even if your horse is still in the pasture, not being able to have the same partnership deserves a grief process.
- Understand that your next horse will be nothing like the last. Let your new horse be itself. Do not try to compare it to the last or you will lose confidence due to frustration and constant let down.
- Do not rush into another horse. Try different horses and find one that feels right to you. The horse you choose is a long-term investment and partner. Pick a horse you feel confident on from the first ride.
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When it comes to rebuilding your confidence with your horse, keep going. There is no one cure-all method to regaining confidence. Riding horses is hard work that takes courage and mental toughness. Every rider, amateur to professional, has points in their riding career where they experience fear, self-doubt, and insecurity. Keep working at it and trying your best and you’ll find the confidence does eventually come back.
