A Tale of Two Horse Husbands

Adventures in tack shopping with my husband and father…

My parents were in town over the weekend for the Easter holiday. Normally, Mom and I head off to do things at the barn while my husband Erik and the rest of his family find creative ways to entertain Dad (he enjoys things like home and garden projects at other people’s houses, and last year’s Easter will be remembered for years when he had to manually assist with a broken corn planter at the farm).

This year, however, due to poor weather limiting our outdoor activities, I decided Mom and I should head up to the region’s big tack shop for a little retail therapy. Enticed by the promise of lunch at a little diner famous for desserts bigger than your face, Erik and Dad chose to tag along as well, despite my full and detailed disclaimer that we would likely spend quite some time at the tack shop and they were probably going to hate it. Nevertheless, they persisted.

The following are all actual conversations or statements uttered on that day.

M: Well, do you like the loose ring?
K: I do like a loose ring. I find that —
D: I like a loose ring too. [beams]
K: …Explain to me what you think a loose ring is.
D: It’s, you know, the horses like it, with the loose fit ring.
K: Loose fit ring?
D: Yeah, the loose fitbit ring! It counts calories!

D: [as Mom wanders off to look at stock tanks] No. Walk away. If you wanted something that big we would have brought the truck.

E: [pops up in abruptly at the end of my aisle] We tried on cowboy hats! Your dad is a seven and a half.

D: Did you actually need that bucket or did you just need something to carry all your stuff in?

And I received this message while browsing the shampoo aisle: