Just 6 Cows Jumping Like Horses

We don’t anticipate horses being replaced by cattle any time soon on the show circuit, but we’ll give these bovine trainers credit where it’s due.

I’ve always believed horses to be more athletic than cows — good thing, too, or rounding cattle up from horseback would be virtually impossible. After watching these videos, I’m still fairly comfortable with that belief — but I’m also keeping an open mind. Perhaps it’s like comparing apples and oranges. The cow’s ability to jump from a near-standstill or walking pace will always boggle my mind, especially if I’m chasing it from the back of my cow pony.

So it was only a matter of time before some enterprising young person decided to saddle that athletic potential for themselves. Whether it’s the age-old story of “mom and dad won’t buy me a pony” with a unique bovine twist or a 100% independent discovery, it turns out that you can ride a cow… and you can in fact jump it.

Hannah and her cow Lilac are a particularly social-media-famous example.

This equestrian — er… wait, what would you call a cow rider? — has gone whole-hog with saddle, bridle, protective booting for her mount and thankfully, a riding helmet (jumping is jumping, people — mind your melon):

Continuing the theme of riding cattle in Europe (seriously, didn’t you people invent the warmblood? Is this going to be the next big export?) here’s a pretty legitimate demonstration going on for an appreciative crowd:

Admittedly, we’re not fluent enough to translate what’s going on here, but we’re super impressed by the production value and also this cow rider’s very sharp hat.

This little guy is named GARY, and therefore he is our favorite. That’s all.

And we saved the best for last (in our totally uneducated opinion) because this big slow mover actually attempts a full course, though perhaps his impulsion through the corner leaves a bit to be desired:

Ride a cow. Ride a horse. However you get it done, go riding!