7 Unanticipated Side Benefits to Owning Horses

Besides the obvious perks, of course.

Feel the love. Flickr/Ann Rowlison/CC

Take this list with a grain of salt… as usual.

1. You’ll be too broke to pick up an expensive drug habit. Or, honestly, even a cheap drug habit.

2. You’ll stay fit. No need to get a gym membership when your horse is turned out on 40 acres and impossible to catch.

3. You won’t have to worry about being mugged in a public place. When you’re dressed like a bum and covered in a nice layer of manure and horse hair, you might actually have people throw money at you.

4. Rude drivers on the road that won’t let you over? No problem when you drive a monster truck and can drive right on top of them to get to where you’re going.

5. No need to worry about why you’re 40 and single. After all, you don’t have time or energy for dating anyway if you own a horse.

6. You don’t need to clean your house if you live in the barn. Bonus: you can use a leaf blower to clean the barn. That’s a little trickier if you live in a house.

7. Don’t have any friends because you have no time to spend with them? Isn’t that what you pay the farrier, veterinarian and chiropractor for?

What tongue-in-cheek benefits would you add to the list? Let us know in the comments section — and go riding!