5 Ways To Enjoy Winter (That Your Horse Will Hate)

There’s still plenty of winter left — get the most out of it!

Not amused. Photo by Kristen Kovatch.

February is the last full month of winter… but there’s still plenty of time to get the most out of the cold season. Here are a few sure-fire ways to have a blast with what’s left of winter, while making sure your horse hates the season as much as you do.

Dress your horse in a colorful winter blanket. The more bizarre patterns and neon colors the better. Not only will he be ashamed of his outfit, the bright colors will terrify his pasture buddies all day long.

After a nice winter day ride that works up a sweat, use the blow dryer to dry him off. The warm, loud air is a surefire way to encourage at least a couple of snorts and bug-eyed looks. If you can see the whites of his eye, you nailed it.

Make your horse pull you in a sled (or at least attempt to). No better way to truly embrace the joys of winter than by gleefully grinning from a sled while your horse trudges through the snow, not quite sure if that big blue boat behind him might actually be a hungry mountain lion in disguise.

Give your horse a trace clip since he’s working all winter long. Spend at least a half an hour every day layering all his winter blankets on him. Make sure you get the order of layers wrong so you have to re-do his garb at least twice. Better yet, make sure you do this daily routine while all his stable mates are eating dinner so he will think he might not ever be fed again.

Add a little warm water to your horse’s grain rations. This will give your horse’s lunch a texture similar to prison gruel or public school lunches. Remind him that he’s lucky to eat this delicious food you so carefully prepared for him.

Go winter. Go riding.