Best of Craigslist, Volume 46

Your favorite cringe-worthy ads, rounded up for your SMH pleasure.

Best of Craigslist (and Facebook, and equine advertising sites … we don’t discriminate) is a constant treasure trove of the fascinating, the bizarre and the tragically misspelled. We gather the best (and worst) that the internet has to offer and package it up in one neat post for your reading enjoyment.

While it’s fun to giggle at classically atrocious spelling and ridiculous photos, we also remind readers that sometimes Best of Craigslist can lead to fairytale endings as well — where we can, we try to link to the original ad so interested readers can contact the seller.

Okay, on to the good stuff! We’ll kick off with this ad from Julie — we’re keeping an eye out this time next year for an ad for a Quarter horse mare with her mule baby …

Screenshot via Craigslist

I have a female quarter horse for sale and also a jack donkey both very well mannered and sweet as can be . We don’t ride her yet as she just turned a year old and we do ride the donkey he is 3 I want them both to go to good home please email me or txt for more info .

Speaking of donkeys, we’re not 100% sure if this is meant to be a joke or not, so we’re nervous-laughing with Maria:

Screenshot via Craigslist

We’ll follow that up with a little interpretive spelling, submitted by Hannah:

Screenshot via Facebook

As the screenshot is extraordinarily tiny, here’s the full text:

2yr old buskin grade qh filly

I have a two yr old filly roughly 14 hands. Not started under saddle. As a yeanling she was hauled to a nursing home and brought inside for the residents to see. She was halter broke. Followed us everywhere in the yard. Has been left in the pasture to grow. Ready to start your way.

I smell a scam in this ad, submitted by Trysha:

Screenshot via Craigslist

hi we are breeders of very healthy and well trained white and black
Frisian horse for sale to any interested buyer at a very good price .

We’re going to hope that this guy finds a good home with a great pasture where he doesn’t have to look so grumpy, submitted by Patricia:

Screenshot via Craigslist

I HAVE A REG QUARTER HORSE GUELDING ABOUT 14 1/2 HANDS VERY GOOD CONDITION BUT NEEDS FEET TRIMED, HASEN’T BEEN RIDDEN IN A WHILE BECAUSE OF HEALTH , MY HEALTH NOT THE HORSE WAS KID BROKE BUT WILL NEED REFRESHING LOOKING TO SELL OR TRADE BUT NOT TO ANOTHER HORSE LIKE TO GET 500 BUT WILL TRADE WILL POST PIC LATER CALL

As they say, sex appeal sells … maybe. From Danielle: “Is the shirtless guy really necessary?”

Screenshot via Craigslist

Flashy nice mare. 10years old. Gentle, easy keeper. Good in pasture. Intermediate rider. Please text for more info.

Well, they also say to use kids in the ad to show how gentle he is … or something. Submitted by Patricia:

Screenshot via Craigslist

Reduced!!! $600.00 OBO I have a beautiful 4 year old line back dun quarter horse. He is still a stud but doesn’t act like one. Great riding horse but not for beginners. He like to try you to see what you will let him get away with

And if that tactic doesn’t work, a stunning photograph should do that job. Submitted by Leandi:

Screenshot via Facebook

We’re going to close out with this one-part-amusing, three-parts-public-service-announcement: spay, neuter, geld, my friends. This is just a really, really bad idea. Submitted by Erin:

Please text me information and pictures with location if you have a few free (healthy) mini mares. We have a cute mini stud who needs a few girlfriends. He was given to me by my best friend’s mom and we are not looking to sell him so we are just seeing if there are a few mini mares for free we can pair him up with. They will be well taken care of. Thank you!!!

Anyone with Arabian mares for free, please let us know as well.

Also looking for an older, free, Arabian stallion for a few of our mares. Must be able to be handled.

Arabian, horse, mare, gelding, stallion

We are not looking to resale these horses. Once they are ours, they will stay with us and not be resold.

Readers, if you run across an “interesting” ad in your Internet wanderings, send it our way! Email the link to [email protected]. Who knows – maybe you’ll help connect a horse with a safe, loving home. Go Riding.