Triple Trouble: Expectation Versus Reality of My Move Up Weekend
A blown trailer tire, no trailer brakes, and a colicking horse were not on my bingo card for my move up weekend.
For years, I dreamed of the moment of moving from a Ladies Level 4 to a Ladies Level 5. For those of you who aren’t mounted shooters, in the Cowboy Mounted Shooting Association (CMSA), there are six levels that are gender split. To move up, you have to have a certain amount of competitors in your class and obtain a certain number of wins. The levels go from Level 1, being the lowest, to Level 6, being the highest level you can achieve. To move from a Level 4 to a Level 5, there have to be five people in your class to earn a qualified win and you need five qualified wins.
I’ve been a Level 4 for what feels like eternity. So long, I had plenty of time to think about what it would be like when I moved up. It’s interesting how day dreaming can create an image so far-fetched from the reality of the actual event. In my head, I had this idea that I’d obtain my last qualified win on a sunny, hot day — a day where the ground was optimal, my runs were extremely fast, and my shooting was on point. I imagined my mental game would be so strong that I knew I was out there to win it. My brain had me believing everything would be perfect and low stress. It was wishful thinking at its finest.
This past weekend, I competed at a CMSA Northern Ohio Outlaws shooting event. The plan was to practice Thursday night with instruction from No Reins Performance Horses, work overnight, and then be ready for a great shooting weekend. On my way to Wooster, Ohio, I blew a trailer tire. I didn’t have the tools to change a wheel and it was 90 degrees out. This happens to be one of my biggest anxieties of traveling with a loaded trailer. I immediately started panicking.
Picture of my blown tire. Photo by Marcella Gruchalak
Luckily, I called a good friend, Bryan King, who lives down the road. He was able to get the tools, get to me, and safely change the tire. I couldn’t be more grateful for the wonderful people I’ve met through the sport of mounted shooting. (Bryan, if you’re reading this, thank you SO MUCH for dropping your plans to help me).
Bryan King working diligently to change my tire and get me back on the road. Photo by Marcella Gruchalak
To make the situation worse, I also had no brakes on the trailer. I was anxiously downshifting every time I had to slow down. Unfortunately, these little mishaps turned my three hour trip into six-and-a-half hours in the truck. By the time I got to practice, I was frazzled and unable to get much riding in because it was getting dark and a storm was blowing in.
The travel delay forced me to call off work — yet another thing that stressed me out. By the time I got to the fairgrounds, I felt sick to my stomach and had extremely low confidence. This feeling stayed with me through the entire weekend. It was something I just couldn’t seem to shake.
On Saturday, it poured down rain. My rides were less than stellar. The ground was sloppy, our runs were slow, I missed balloons, and I was soaking wet for most of the day. Despite all these undesirables, I eked out my last win as a Ladies Level 4 and moved up.
@_gru_crew_ Keep going, you’re doing just fine. #motivation #motivationalvideo #motivationalspeech #inspirational #inspirationalvideo #ottb #offthetrackthoroughbred #mountedshooting #horsesoftiktok #western #westernliving ♬ Warrior (Stand Up) [feat. Rayelle] – Hidden Citizens
Don’t get me wrong, I was ecstatic. But I’ve heard so many people over the years say, “This is not how I expected to move up.” I’ve heard this for various reasons, such as the competition, or lack thereof, the timing of the move up, the location, the runs they had, and the list goes on. I would always reply, “A win is a win, it’s okay to take it when you get it.” Now, here I am, feeling the same way as some of my fellow friends and competitors, totally understanding their feelings.
Despite my feelings, my friends made sure to help me celebrate in grand fashion:
The end of my weekend followed a similar pattern. On Sunday, Buns was a complete twit all day. I had no idea why. He NEVER acts like he was on Sunday. He was running off with me throughout our runs and running out the gate into groups of competitors. I was so displeased with him that I laid into him in the lack of warm up area we had by the loading station. He was rearing and carrying on and I was frustrated. In that moment, I should have gotten off and walked away, but I let my already heightened emotions get the best of me — NOT my best horsemanship moment, which absolutely eats me alive.
Going into my last run, the anxiety — which I usually don’t have — was so high from the weekend’s events that I couldn’t even think clearly. Miraculously the run was clean, but shutting down, Buns slipped and his hind end slid from under him. I will say, after watching the video, it felt a heck of a lot worse than it looked. I was sure I close to sitting in the dirt, but in all actuality, he slipped and caught himself. My fellow competitors said they saw him holding up his leg so it made me feel like the slip was his whole hind end down in the dirt. It’s stupid how anxiety makes things seem so far from reality.
After checking his hind end for lameness, I hosed Buns down, put him in his stall to eat and drink, and began loading up my things to get ready to go home. When I returned from the trailer for a second trip, Buns was pawing, laying down, pawing, laying down. I. WAS. MORTIFIED. I didn’t have colic in my cards for what events would happen over the weekend.
My trainer, Ezra Yoder of No Reins Performance Horses, gave Buns electrolytes and had me begin walking him while we got Banamine ready. DeAnn Sloan and Chris McElyea quickly got the Banamine into Buns system. I walked him until he didn’t want to lay down anymore and then hosed him down again. When I was certain he was feeling well enough to travel, we headed home.
By the time I arrived home I was so upset with myself that I pushed him so hard and he was trying to tell me he wasn’t feeling well. I am beside myself that I didn’t pick up on his cues. This weekend was an eye opener that Buns and I need a week or so off to rest and reset. We need a break for both of our mental, physical, and emotional healths.
In just the couple days we’ve been home, Buns is happy and healthy and I’m participating in activities that are getting me back to feeling myself. Buns is getting bathed every day instead of ridden and we’re both enjoying the much-needed downtime so that we can come back as the strong team we’re known to be.
Photo by Kari Anna Photography
Despite the feelings of letdown that accompanied my much-anticipated move up, as I reflect on the weekend, I need to remind myself of all the good that came with it as well. In addition to moving up, my young horses are looking fabulous. Ezra Yoder ran Payco, who will be running in the CMSA Derby next month, and secured the overall win out of 86 riders on Sunday. Hot Sauce, my futurity horse, is progressing so well and looks amazing. I have friends who have my back, no matter what. As I sort through my feelings and some time passes, these are the things I hope I remember about it, because that progress and the friends that come with me are what the competition is about.
