I’m So Horse Poor That… Presented by Breeches.com

“… my horse has 10 pairs of sport boots, but my boots are duct taped.”

So, we all know that horses are expensive. Like, really expensive. And as equestrians, we’re known to make a few sacrifices so that our equine pals never go without. This definitely leads to some… er… rather creative financial choices on our part.

Here are 10 things that only those horse poor equestrians can understand.

I’m so horse poor that…

1. … my horse has 10 pairs of sport boots, but my boots are duct taped together.
2. … that I have considered (or have started) stripping to earn extra cash.
3. … that I have considered setting up (or have set up) an Only Fans to earn extra cash.
4. … my horse’s meals are weighed, measured, and perfectly calculated for his work load, turnout, and geographical location, but I eat ramen for dinner (not the boujie kind, the kind that’s less than a dollar a pack) and Doritos off the floor.
5. … my horse has a vet, a farrier, a chiropractor, an acupuncturist, an animal communicator, and an exorcist, but my own health care plan includes a couple of ibuprofen and probably a shot of whiskey.
6. … I’ve calculated how many side hustles it will take and how little sleep I will need to support the number of horses I want/need/currently have and still have time to actually ride them.
7. … I’ve wondered if anyone will notice if I start sleeping at the barn to avoid paying rent.
8. … I’ve wondered if anyone will notice if I start sleeping in my truck to avoid paying rent.
9. … I’ve wondered if anyone will notice if I start sleeping in my trailer to avoid paying rent (there’s a theme here).
10. … my horse gets a new $200 shoe package every five weeks, but my boots are delaminating and have a sole worn down to nothing.

What do you do to make sure your horse wants for nothing while you… have it slightly less great? Let us know in the Facebook comments!

There are ways to keep yourself slightly less horse poor. Besides not buying that next horse (we can’t help you there — in fact, we will enthusiastically encourage you to do so), you can shop smarter. Check out breeches.com — their main motto is “we make riding affordable.” From tack to apparel to barn supplies — for both English and Western riders — they are there to keep you and your horse outfitted for less.