Your Trainer, Translated

What’s your trainer really trying to say? Here’s a quick guide to understanding your trainer.

Ever wondered what your trainer really means when they say, “eyes up!” for the twentieth time in a lesson, or “shoulders back!” until they’re blue in the face, or “add leg!” until they realize that it would probably just be easier to get it tattooed on their forehead? Here’s a tongue-in-cheek look at what your trainer’s words and expressions may really mean. 

When your trainer says:
“Don’t forget to breathe!”
What they mean is:
“Your whole body is so stiff you look like a corpse. I am pretty sure I could grate cheese on your shoulder blades.”

When your trainer says:
“Do that one more time!”
What they mean is:
“Do that 50 times until you get it right. Once more is never enough.”

When your trainer says:
“Your left. Your other left.”
What they mean is:
“For the love of God change direction!”

When your trainer says:
“Eyes up!”
What they mean is:
“Stop looking at your horse’s ears. He’s still there. I promise.”

When your trainer says:
“Look ahead!”
What they mean is:
“If you keep staring at the ground, you are surely going to eat dirt.”

When your trainer says:
“Look further ahead!”
What they mean is:
“Okay, so you got lucky and didn’t eat dirt last time, but if you look there, you are going to land there! So get your eyes up!”

When your trainer says:
“Prepare your horse for the halt.”
What they mean is:
“Give your poor horse some kind of a warning sign before you yank his face off.”

When your trainer says:
“Inside leg to outside rein.”
What they mean is:
“Your horse is counterbent like a camel, so let’s get him at least looking in the right direction!”

When your trainer says:
“Soft elbows.”
What they mean is:
“Relax, breathe, and naturally follow your horse’s mouth.”

When your trainer says:
“Let’s try that again.”
What they mean is:
“Last time was a dumpster fire, so…”

When your trainer says:
“How do you think that went?”
What they mean is:
“Are you aware of what an utter disaster that was?”

When your trainer says:
“You’re on the wrong diagonal.”
What they mean is:
“Seriously there are only two options!”

When your trainers says:
“Bring your lower leg back.”
What they mean is:
“Read Centered Riding!”

When your trainer says:
“Do nothing.”
What they mean is:
“What are you even doing with your body?”

When your trainer says:
“Shoulders back!”
What they mean is:
“You look like the hunchback of Notre Dame!”

When your trainer says:
“Add leg. More leg. Lots more leg.”
What they mean is:
“There aren’t enough legs in the state of Texas…”

If your trainer’s face looks like this:

What it means is:
“I’m impressed you stayed on.”

If your trainers face looks like this:

What it means is:
“Well, that was unexpected.”

If your trainers face looks like this:

What it means is:
“Let’s do that again!”

If your trainers face looks like this:

What it means is:
“Well, that didn’t go well.”

So the next time you hear your trainer say, “shoulders back!” or “add leg” or you look across the arena and they’ve pulled a face, you can smile knowing that you have inside information on their deepest thoughts. And to end, I will leave you with my favorite quote that a trainer has said to me. This one needs no translation, and should simply be filed under weird stuff trainers say.

“To get a proper halfpass, you kind of have to move like John Wayne in a dirty diaper.”

Go riding!