5 Answers You’ll Get When You Ask the Internet For Advice

No matter what your question might be.

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Ask any horse-related question on the internet and you’re guaranteed, among the multitude of answers you’re likely to receive, to get back one of, or themes on, the following five responses.

Sample question: My gelding keeps on throwing shoes. Is there anything I can do to prevent this from happening?

1. Your gelding is clearly in pain. You need to have an equine chiropractor come out, followed by a massage therapist. Don’t forget to use the latest heat wave technology to loosen up his nerves. And one last thing, if you start riding bitless I really think your gelding will stop throwing shoes because he will be walking better because he is no longer bracing from the pain that bits cause.

2. Your gelding is lacking turmeric, coconut oil, flax seed, beets pulp, rice bran, minerals, fairy dust, etc, from his diet. Oh, and he probably has internal parasites and ulcers. You should also get him scoped.

3. Shoes are a product of the devil. Your horse needs to be barefoot. He also needs to be turned out 24/7, have continuous access to food and be on a two-week trimming cycle. Your life needs to revolve around your horse and if you can’t do that for your horse,  you’re also the devil.

4. Have you considered an animal psychic? I had really good luck with Shirley McWhirley and she told me my Sassy Pants was really upset when I made her work once a week and that’s the reason why she was bucking me off. She also told me Sassy Pants wanted to be put away and fed lunch and that was the reason why she was bolting towards the gate five minutes into the lesson. Now that I know that, I stopped riding her and I make sure I bring extra treats every time I go to the barn.

5. This is clearly a training issue. Buy my proprietary training stick and my DVD series. If you start doing all these lessons and games I bet your horse will grow stronger hooves.

Our tip: have a great support team of professionals for your horse… not the internet. Go riding.