Fantasy Farm Thursday: The Quintessential “I Quit People” Mountain Retreat

Because sometimes people are the worst.

You know those times when you literally can’t even with the news, and the politics, and the traffic, and your mother-in-law, and those stories about people who steal wheelchairs from the needy? I think I’ve been feeling the “can’t even” for about 15 months now, and I’m ready for an escape.

A place far from the interstate — potentially unreachable in winter — where I could put my horses in a cozy barn, curl up with the complete works of Jane Austen and a year’s supply of rice, beans, salsa verde and boxed red wine and not be heard from by the outside world until at least next May.

If you share in this desire, I’ve got such a killer hookup for you:

What’s that in the distance? Oh yes. ZERO PEOPLE. Photo courtesy of Bergquist Donnelly Team and Christies International Real Estate

Set on 45 acres of rolling meadows beneath the Swan Mountains in Northern Montana, this rural fantasy is out of the way — way out of the way. As in, 90 minutes to the closest “big” town of Missoula. But what do you really need a big town for, anyway? You’ve got the views, the perfect barn, your own creek filled with all the trout you can eat, and all those Jane Austen books. (Or back issues of Horse & Rider or the 50 Shades of Gray trilogy — I’m not here to judge. You do you.)

Photo courtesy of Bergquist Donnelly Team and Christies International Real Estate

Photo courtesy of Bergquist Donnelly Team and Christies International Real Estate

Photo courtesy of Bergquist Donnelly Team and Christies International Real Estate

Photo courtesy of Bergquist Donnelly Team and Christies International Real Estate

As for the horses, they’re going to be living the life in a gorgeous 2007 barn built for the measly price of half a million dollar bills, with absolutely no expense spared when it comes to the horse’s comforts or the barn’s decadence. Naturally, there’s also a permanent round-pen, loads of turnout, and miles and miles of trails into the vast wilderness that surrounds you.

Photo courtesy of Bergquist Donnelly Team and Christies International Real Estate

Photo courtesy of Bergquist Donnelly Team and Christies International Real Estate

Photo courtesy of Bergquist Donnelly Team and Christies International Real Estate

Photo courtesy of Bergquist Donnelly Team and Christies International Real Estate

Photo courtesy of Bergquist Donnelly Team and Christies International Real Estate

Photo courtesy of Bergquist Donnelly Team and Christies International Real Estate

The human quarters are equally splendid, with luxurious bathrooms, a massive kitchen with all the bells and whistles, and of course views for dayyyyyys. (I mean literally, you can see a whole annual calendar out those windows.) And don’t forget the covered outdoor hot tub. (If you’ve never had a snowy hot tub experience, you haven’t really lived.)

Photo courtesy of Bergquist Donnelly Team and Christies International Real Estate

Photo courtesy of Bergquist Donnelly Team and Christies International Real Estate

Photo courtesy of Bergquist Donnelly Team and Christies International Real Estate

Photo courtesy of Bergquist Donnelly Team and Christies International Real Estate

CAN I GET A HOT TUB. Photo courtesy of Bergquist Donnelly Team and Christies Real Estate.

All this for the current list price of 1.48 million. See the original listing on Christies International Real Estate for all the details!