This Extensive Sales Video May Blow Your Mind (& Also Make You LOL)

“Hi, my name is Zack, and this is my horse Walter.” This sales video is well worth the 20 minutes it will take to watch it in its entirety.

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This sales video for a Missouri Fox Trotter named Walter is SO straightforward and dry that it’s hard to tell if trainer and seller Zackery Stevens is just that much of a straight shooter or if we’ve stumbled upon the first true hipster horse trader. Like, I’ve watched this video so many times and I still can’t decide if I should laugh, marvel, take this man seriously or buy him a beer. Or maybe all of those things. I don’t even know.

Let’s just establish before you watch this twenty-minute sales video (the man is nothing if not thorough) that Walter appears to be perhaps the greatest horse that has walked this planet. I can’t decide if my favorite part is where Zack throws an exercise ball at Walter while he sits on a bale (4:48), drags a kayak around on a rope (16:40) or shoots a gun over Walter’s side as the horse lays down (4:00). (“If ISIS ever comes to Missouri, I guess we’re ready for ’em… I’ve never actually done this before.”)

I promise, this is worth the 20 minutes just to listen to this guy talk about his horse in the driest voice I’ve ever heard on someone trying to sell us something:

I took a peek at the TheHorseBay.com online auction page for Walter, whose sale ended about a week ago. If the page is reporting accurate information, Walter sold via online auction for $50,000. Well done, Walter. And well done, Mr. Stevens.

Thanks to reader Lynn for the tip!

Go riding.