2016 Best of HN #9: 7 Ways to Tell People No, They Cannot Ride Your Horse

Because they always ask.

Flickr/Jolante van Hemert/CC

Horses are like pickup trucks: once people find out you have one, everyone comes out of the woodwork begging for a ride.

Now, this isn’t directed to your friends who you invite to ride, because you enjoy their company. No, this list is directed to people you don’t know or don’t care for: your annoying coworker that you can barely stand at work, let alone out of work; that bratty snot-nosed kid down the street; random strangers; and generally anyone else that you don’t want riding your horse.

Sure, politely saying “no, you may not” is a fine way to start … but for the truly persistent beggars, sometimes a better answer is necessary. Here’s a little list of seven answers compiled to let people down easy.

“Can I ride your horse?”

1. I’m sorry, my horse requires a VERY experienced rider.
2. As much as I’d love to take you for a ride, my insurance policy doesn’t cover anyone except myself in the saddle.
3. My horse and I share a very deep bond and I am the only person he allows to ride him. Sorry!
4. Sure, let me get back to you on that one … I’ll give you a call when I’m free.
5. This Saturday? Sounds great — we’ll ride after we’re done putting up the new truckload of hay. I’ll see you at sunup.
6. Sorry, my horse is allergic to children.
7. Can you ride my horse? Can I sleep with your husband?

Anyone else have any clever comebacks for that dreaded question? CLICK HERE to open the discussion thread in our Equestrians Anonymous forums and share your best ride refusals!