#TBT: Does Your Horse Have a Sense of Humor?

Alternately, how to tell if your horse actually hates you and is too polite to say it.

Flickr/Wendy/CC

As horsemen, we know how to “read” our horses’ behavior. The interpretation of that behavior, of course, can lead to much debate and discussion, because where horses are involved there are many correct answers. However, there a few equine behaviors that aren’t open to any interpretation at all — this list includes just a few that make your horse’s thoughts and feelings pretty clear.

• Every time you pick up his back hooves he farts. Once in a while he poops on you.
• Your horse is very nimble about stepping around suspicious shadows and different-colored spots on the trail, and yet always seems to accidentally step on your toes.
• He loads great into any trailer, unless someone is watching.
• You’ve gone through eight vets, five chiropractors, twenty saddles, three acupuncture treatments and two pet psychics, and he still bucks under saddle … only when you ride him.
• He colics on show days.
• After you bathe him, he always finds the biggest mud puddle to take a nap in.
• He always mistakes your fingers for carrots, even though you never give him carrots.
• He is hard for you to catch, but walks right up to everyone else.
• He’s remarkably good at standing still until you try to mount.
• He has this mysterious lameness that only flares up on the weekends.
• If you ever fall off, he makes a mad dash for the barn. After your five-mile walk home, he walks casually up to you, searching your pockets for treats.
• You rationalize that he keeps you sane, and is much cheaper than a therapist. Then you add up all the vet bills.

Go riding.