Best of Craigslist: 50 Shades of Cray Edition

In this edition of ‘Best of Craigslist,’ everyone be cray: sellers be cray, horses be cray … get ready for a wild ride.

There are a few key signs to look for every year when spring rolls around: birds singing. Flowers blooming. Warmer temperatures. And the craziest horse-for-sale ads you’ve ever seen. This “50 Shades of Cray” edition of Best of Craiglist starts out mild and ends up wild.

We’ll kick things off with a tack ad from Natalie: “I’ve always wanted a nice sattle.”

Another from Natalie: this seller must seen our “overshare” collection from a few weeks back and decided that less was more. In its entirety:

Short and sweet … I guess. This next ad looks like a straightforward, lovely horse, but as Rachel says, “I think they might want to consider a name change before advertising …”

“17h. 2008 Gelding. Sir Costalot, aka ‘Chase’…”

Yeah, that might be a good call. This next stallion ad is pretty classic from Sarah: “They didn’t have a better picture of him???”

And here’s where things start to get a little cray. We’ll just leave this one here from Susan:

Check out this descriptive title, submitted direct via Craiglist:

For trade of slower-mellower horse or milk cow (preferred) or sell at $1000 OBO. Boots is a healthy sound 14.2 QH gelding with LOTS of potential to win in the ring! Boots does not have his registration papers. My mother purchased this gelding from someone for herself and husband to have quiet, slow, calm trail rides in the mountains, but… He is very energetic, quick as lightning, and turns on a pinhole. My mother had him assessed by a well known trainer and after spending an entire day with him, he thought he would be a waste as a trail horse as he is very ring quality, flags his tail and would be excellent stock for gaming or cutting. My mother was told by the people she purchased him from that he had been sitting in their field for 3 years doing nothing but getting fat, but before that he was ridden by children and taken up a few times in the mountains elk hunting. 

The trainer said he thinks Boots was started but never finished, or, that the horse thinks he is boss in the new place and my mother does not know how to show him that he is not. My mother is not an experienced rider and is worried that if she spends the money for training on him that she will not know how to keep up with it when he is returned to her (as was noted by the trainer) so I suggested she trade him for a quieter, less hot, ride so she doesn’t have to worry about training.

So, if you are looking for a great project for barrels, etc… and you have an older quiet, happy-to-go-slow horse (healthy not over 16 years old/ sound/ never any injuries/ up to date on vac’s and has had his/her feet taken care of regularly), then this may be a great deal for you both!

Boots has never been hit or mistreated, has had his vac’s and worming kept up to date, a bit over fed and flabby from sitting around, feet well taken care of and he is great for the fairer, needs an experienced rider/trainer to finish him and turn him into the prospect that the trainer saw in him! Will only let him go to a good home with a proper set up for horses.

As it is right now Boots spends his days herding the donkey around the corral 🙂 I am sure the donkey would appreciate a quieter pen-mate too!

From Catherine:

I have an absolutely beautiful 15.2 thoroughbred mare that I am unable to do anything with. This normally sweet 8yr old gal has a wild streak that I just can’t handle. She was raced 1 time and retired. She is very green broke with a perfect build for jumpers. She sometimes rears when tacking and mounting with no sign at all. She loads easily. I believe a more experienced rider could mold her properly. 

Let me stress that this beautiful horse is CRAZY! Feel free to come ride at your own risk. Please experienced riders and adults only. I will not do trials, lease or any other creative ideas you have. It’s simple, you give me cash, you get a crazy horse. So hook up your trailer and come on out.

From Lora:

Annoying pony! NEEDS TO GO!!

Meet pain in the butt pony who needs a new home! This is firefly a SUPER CUTE and VERY LOVING 5yo 13hh appy pony who I can’t ride because I’m 5’8″! Firefly had 6 months of solid training last summer and fall. She had all winter off and has apparently decided riding is not for her anymore. She was taught the basics and can w,t,c with Spurs and two crops . When she does decide to move its in almost every direction, but just not in a straight line. To say she is stubborn is an understatement. DID I MENTION SHES CUTE?!?! She tosses her head and doesn’t like the bit. But she’s short so it’s not too hard to win that battle! She pretends like she’s going to buck and if you REALLY get on her case she will even rear! BUT HEY she’s SUPER DOOPER CUTE!! The good about little stinker firefly is that she stands beautifully on cross ties, stands for grooming, bathing, tacking, farrier, shots, loads in a trailer, mounting, and dismounting. She is in PERFECT health and has NEVER had so much as a scratch! I’ve owned her since she was 6 months old and she’s always been a good girl. She’s on NO grain OR supplements. And FAT. No founder or laminitis. Never been lame not even an abscess. AND SHES CUTE!! If I haven’t already said that. She comes right up in pasture. Has been successfully stalled (super tidy) and pasture boarded. Falls in the middle. So if you’ve got really annoying neighbor kids who climb on your horses without permission or maybe you just have a wicked sense of humor and want to torment your really excellent young rider then make me an offer!!! Firefly is very trainable for someone who actually wants to spend time with her. I’m asking $600 Obo to anyone who thinks they can rein in this annoying pony! BTW SHES OOBER CUTE!!! Located in Big Rock Illinois. Able to haul.

From Megan: “Wants nearly $10k. Seems totally reasonable.”

Trivio is a 2009 IALHA registered Andalusian (Pura Raza Espanola)/ Lippizan out of the P.R.E. stallion Triunfo HHF. He is a stunning gray and around 15h. 

I bought him sight-un-seen from a lady in Maine. He was SUPPOSE to be in a current dressage program, being ridden by children in lessons, and completely AA safe. However the horse I received is very green under saddle and not AA safe at this time. I was on him for a total of 10min. He was very unsure of himself and did rear up a few times when asked to go past scary objects. I have not gotten on him since. He could be a nice AA dressage horse, but I don’t know if he will need to be restarted or just needs someone who is more confident than me in the saddle. He acted out of fear and not aggression.  

What I do know about him; he is VERY quiet and sweet on the ground. You could lead him around with a piece of string. Stands quiet on the ties or in his stall for grooming. VERY well-behaved and submissive in his stall. Self-loads on the trailer and was good for the vet exam I had done. He is UTD on shots and has been barefoot his whole life. Totally sound and I have his recent ppe results. He knows how to lunge and is again very well behaved. On the ground he is a safe horse. 

I believe Trivio will excel will a confidant rider who is experienced with green horses. I will continue to work with him on the ground until sold. THE PRICE WILL GO UP once he goes into a riding program if not sold. This is the link to the old ad where there is a video of him. http://www.warmblood-sales.com/HorseDetail.asp?HorseID=42329&UserID=16091

I will not get on him at this time and do not feel comfortable having someone test ride him. He can of course be met in person and handled on the ground. PPE are welcome. He will be sold with his blanket, bridle, and leather halter.

Readers, if you run across an “interesting” ad in your Internet wanderings, send it our way! Email the link to [email protected]. Who knows – maybe you’ll help connect a horse with a safe, loving home. Go Riding.