Redneck Horse Towing 101

Trucks, Trailers, Tires and Good Judgment are optional! Lorraine Jackson explains how to pimp your redneck ride in four easy steps.

Have you ever dreamed of having your own rig and criss-crossing the states with your beloved mount, but just don’t have the means for a Ford F-350 and a decked-out gooseneck with living quarters? Well don’t you fret. Plenty of your fellow horsemen have managed to move horses all over the country without shelling out the cash or losing sleep. Just follow these four easy redneck steps.

Step 1: See your current wheels in a whole new light.

Towing isn’t just for trucks nowadays! With a simple gooseneck modification to your sunroof, you could be hitting the road in no time.

No car? No problem! If you’ve got the cash for a halfway-decent used riding lawn mower, there’s no stopping you.

Step 2: A little corrugated tin will fix that right up!

You don’t need the fanciest trailer in the world just to move a horse around. That’s for frilly folks. Especially if you’re hauling with a “non-traditional” vehicle, you’re going to want to keep your towing weight on the light side. (Also, you should probably put your horse on a “light haul” diet. Every pound helps!)

I’ve had my pappy on the lookout for a new trailer, and he recently sent me some great options where the tin work had already been done for me.

This second option is especially great, because you save a lot of extra weight on the open air “convertible” type trailers.

Step 3: Horses are a built-in Plan B

This is the most important step to true redneck towing: Never forget that the horses used to pull us, not the other way around! Occasionally our genius tin/duct tape/baling twine ideas don’t always work out and you might find yourself up a creek, but not without a paddle. When your rig breaks down, put the horse before the cart and just keep on going!

Step 4: Get Your Official Stamp of Redneck Towing Approval! 

Send your cheap and genius ideas and creations to our Editor and Dean of the School of Redneck Towing  ([email protected]), and we’ll email you an official “Certificate of Gradjumication”!

Go Towing!