Best of Craiglist: ‘No Words’ Edition

This week: a “money pit horse for sale,” a scandalous stallion ad, a concussion waiting to happen, a saddle-broke foal and much, much more!

First up, this submission from reader Bethany: “I’m very grateful that this seller included a description of the ideal thoroughbred and then listed … this horse.”

Thoroughbred Gelding 16h,12 years old.His name is Chance.
The ideal thoroughbred is a beautiful animal. He boasts a refined head, long neck, well-defined withers, deep shoulder, strong chest, short back and powerful hindquarters. The overall impression connotes elegance with muscularity, with the classic “look of eagles” in the eye.
Very healthy,and strong, no bad habits,no kicks buck, stands for farries,loads., you can use for trail,tricks riding, western riding lessons etc..Very experiences horses used to perform for circus.
Asking $1000.00 obo.. zip code 33598.Please only serious buyers. Thanks

From Jane: “Sounds like a very interesting idea, for a good cause, but I’m pretty sure I am not going to ‘donate’ my draft horse so she can drive a wagon 3,000 miles across the continental US. I highly doubt anyone else would either!”

From Grace: “As long as the floor is new, right?!”

From Valerie: “Well mega props to this guy for honesty…”

Selling a very pretty horse, has a long mane and tail, and pretty blue eyes. Stands tall at 16.1 hh
Looks somewhat like something magical out of a fairy tale, but dont let that fool you.
She is bitchy, mareish, will come to you on her terms, unless you have a cookie. Will drop her head to be haltered half the time, the other half of the time you will need a ladder to reach the top of her head.
She is barn sour, buddy sour, wont move on occasion and will require a twitch. Spurs are useless to get her going. Might need a firecracker in some cases.
She will test her rider, throw her head, and by gosh if you dont show her at that moment that you are in charge, get ready for the ride of your life.
She will be going along nice and smooth, then all of the sudden a leaf will fall from the tree and she will want to run for the hills leaving the rider with whiplash.
She eats twice as much as the rest of our herd and hard to keep the weight on. One week she looks fat, the next week she looks thin. I think she does this to annoy me.
Her conformation is fair. Sometimes she will stand with her hind legs under her belly which makes the back walls of her hoofs wear down. Other times she stands perfectly straight.
She is white in the winter and pearl like in the summer. But give her a bath and she will roll in the muddiest area in the pasture and you will have to bath her all over again.
Sensitive skin and eyes , I will include her custom made full faced fly mask and halter to send off with her. Submissive with other equine.
Doesnt like a cinch around her belly and will pin her ears at ya and give a warning nip. Never has actually nipped or kicked, but sure can make a mean face…unless you have a carrot..then she makes faces like a camel to con you into giving her the entire bag of carrots in one sitting. And lord have mercy, dont dare enter the pasture empty handed without a treat, or she will show you that it never was about love, only cookies. She will make a face like, “How dare you enter the pasture without bringing me a cookie!” pin her ears and walk off.
She likes to be groomed as long as it doesn’t interfere with any previous plans of grazing she might have had. Will load, tie and stand for the farrier without talking back which will lead you to believe she is an angel.
Kids have rode her and she falls asleep standing. Adults have rode her and she is afraid of her own shadow. if you want a money pit of a horse that would make an ideal lawn ornament that eats like a elephant, but looks nice. This is the horse for you.
Asking 650 obo for this beauty. Located in Gilbert.

From Courtney: 3, 2, 1… concussion.

From Cheyenne: “No words are needed.”

FREE TUB, LIGHTWEIGHT
ALSO A HEAVY IRON TUB FOR SALE, $25. HORSE FEEDER/WATER-CANNOT SELL NOW, IT IS WET WHERE IT IS,CANNOT DRIVE TO IT.

From Cheyenne: “This one wasn’t a Craigslist ad, but was posted on our state’s Hunter/Jumper Association page. It made me laugh because it reminded me of those memes: ‘Oh, you’re looking for the perfect horse for a cheap price? It’s in the stall between the unicorn and Pegasus.'”

ISO: Pacific Northwest (must be close nearby, not willing to travel super far and cannot afford shipping) • 4-9 years old • OTTB or unraced thoroughbred • Preferably mares, will consider geldings • Tall, athletic, and sound • No past injuries, or ones that will not effect performance • No off-track training needed, just sane and trainable • Will be used for upper level pony club, needs to have potential or be free jumping 3′ and up. • Not willing to spend more than $2,000. Thanks in advance!

From Lori: “Poor lil fella… The seller is getting flambe’d on Facebook. And there are a good mix of people looking to buy the little guy… if the seller lowers his price.”

And last but not least, this interesting ad from Leslie: “Just came across this in the Warmblood Stallions of North America. I feel like they could have photoshopped a little more mane into the frame…”

Readers, if you run across an “interesting” ad in your Internet wanderings, send it our way! Email the link to [email protected]. Who knows – maybe you’ll help connect a horse with a safe, loving home. Go Riding.