Best of Craigslist: ‘Dream Horse’ Edition

Highlights from our latest batch of strange/random/funny/clueless ads: a horse who is totally chill so long as she gets her daily tranquilizer, a hornless unicorn, a rare filly colt, a magazine excerpt we just didn’t know what else to do with, and much, much more!

First up, from reader Emily: “I reaaaaally hope this one is a joke… Daily supplement called ACE?!”

With heavy heart I am selling my 2006 Thoroughbred mare. She is a import and is a true sport horse. She likes to up, sometimes, and other times she goes right through it. My trainer feels its time for me to move up to a more advanced horse. Petuna(the horse) is on a daily performance enhancer I believe called Ace. Before she was on this supplement she was a nut, but this has really helped her out. She is not good with little kids, and kids should be kept far away from them, and also dogs!

And then there’s this Photoshop masterpiece, submitted by Kara:

 Zephyr is a wonderful 14 year old purebred grey arab gelding. He’s a little over 15 hands tall. He has excellent ground manners- you can crawl all over him. He’s very patient and has no bad habits. Sound, w/t/c, barefoot, good for vet and farrier, loads into a trailer. In the saddle, he’s a lot of fun. He is safe, likes to go and is very responsive. I wouldn’t recommend him for a dead beginner because of this, but anyone that’s comfortable riding would have a lot of fun. Zephyr is gorgeous- he’s practically a hornless unicorn.

Other sellers, well, they’re a bit more down to earth. Let’s give it up for this tell-it-like-it-is ad:

9 y/o, thoroughbred gelding, bay, 16h, UTD, barefoot, green broke, rides english/western mostly on trail. Horse was purchased as a project horse, however this particular horse is outside of my skill set. He is stubborn, not just kind of stubborn but beyond stubborn. When he does not want to do something, well…good luck.
He canters his left lead well, his right lead leaves much to be desired, literally, as in he will not pick it up. His personality is great when the wind is blowing 5 MPH from offshore, it’s exactly 72 degrees and 3 pm on a Mon, Wed, or Fri. Anything of a variation from above and you may meet one of the various other personalities.

Moving right along, here’s a rare “filly colt” from Jessica:

And a “unique” (good adjective!) horse trailer from Leah:

A 15.5-hand (so… 16.1 hands?) horse from Audrey:

And for our grand finale we’ve got one more that, while it’s not technically an ad, still seems to fit with the them. It was sent in by reader Tori, who writes, “Saw this in a magazine… Just had to share this lol with y’all.”

In case you can’t read the text: Munn trained for two months to ride a horse in the upcoming film Mortdecai. “The connection you make with a horse is so powerful,” she says. “It’s like another level of love.”

We’ll just leave you with that to ponder. Readers, if you run across an “interesting” ad in your Internet wanderings, send it our way! Email the link to [email protected]. Who knows – maybe you’ll help connect a horse with a safe, loving home. Go Riding.