14 Things I Hate About Braiding

Horse Nation’s illustrious illustrator Morgane Schmidt gives this tedious horse-show task the what-for.

From Morgane:

Braiding is one of those gross tasks that isn’t really that difficult in theory but in practice is actually just another form of masochism (ask my how I know). As I am one of those lucky souls who has braided enough to actually be good at it I thought I’d list some of the highlights (low lights?):

1. Pony manes.
2. Manes two feet long.
3. Yarn breaking.
4. Braids too loose — they fall out.
5. Braids too tight — horse tries to kills you.
6. Braids too long (they look sloppy).
7. Braids too thick (they look sloppy).
8. Blunt cut manes (OMFG kill me now).
9. Not having the right yarn type/color/length.
10. Horses who rub their braids ALL out.
11. Horses who will not stand still.
12. Broken latch hooks that get stuck going through the mane.
13. That person who tries to convince you that rubber band braids are acceptable.
14. Running out of Quik Braid.

Go Riding!

Morgane Schmidt is a 29-year-old teacher/artist/dressage trainer/show announcer/ who still hasn’t quite decided what she wants to be when she grows up. A native Floridian, she now lives in Reno, NV, where she’s been able to confirm her suspicion that snow is utterly worthless. Though she has run the gamut of equestrian disciplines, her favorite is dressage. This year she was able to complete her USDF bronze medal and is now pursuing her silver. Generally speaking her life is largely ruled by Woody, a 14.2 hand beastly quarter horse, Willie, a gawky three year old Dutch gelding, and Stormy, her friend’s nearly all white paint gelding with a penchant for finding every mud hole and pee spot in existence. Visit her website at www.theideaoforder.com.