Thursday Morning Feed from Fleeceworks

We’ve been following the story of 11-year-old Taylor McFall — after watching this adorable helmet cam yesterday we’re officially her biggest fans. Today her mom, Jen, weighs in.

Top Photos: Jen McFall and High Times at Rolex by Sally Spickard (left); Taylor McFall and Kilbarry Prince courtesy of Lisa Davis (right).

To rewind we originally met the mother-daughter Fleeceworks team of budding eventer Taylor and upper-level rider Jen a couple weeks back, and we spotlighted their journey to The Event at Rebecca Farms last week.

It’s not easy being a rider and a rider’s mom, and Jen McFall is aware of this. All too often in competitive situations, we find overbearing mothers or poor communication between mother and daughter. So, the question remains: How do you prevent this from happening?

Jen has found that stepping back and having others coach 11-year-old Taylor works well, although it’s still tough to just be a mom sometimes! Jen submitted this blog to Eventing Nation about putting on her “mom hat” when it comes to her daughter’s riding earlier this year, and it really struck a chord with us. Many thanks to Jen for writing and to Athletux for partnering with EN to bring us great blogs from their riders. Check out her perspective here!

Taylor and Prince with coach Hawley Bennett. Photo courtesy of Jen McFall.

From Jen:

Life is a series of role-playing. During the months leading up to my first four-star appearance at Rolex this year, I was playing the role of driven athlete and obsessive caregiver to my partner, High Times. So this weekend at The Woodside Spring Horse Trials, with High Times not competing and my Preliminary horse being ridden by my husband, Earl, I gratefully hung up that hat and got to be the cheerleader and general mascot to my daughter, husband and other members of our barn.

As a mother who also competes and loves the sport of eventing, watching my daughter, Taylor, at an event gives me a remarkable feeling of joy that we share the same passion and pride in her ability. I secretly hope she never discovers affection for another sport, though I tell her she is free to pursue any athletic endeavor she prefers.

Photo courtesy of Jen McFall.

I’m pretty sure she is hooked, considering she is an avid artist and profusely draws horses and ponies, plays at wild pony enactments with her friends, and consistently picks a pair of paddock boots over normal day footwear for any and all occasions. Still, I humor her dad and act like I support the idea of her doing something other than my favorite pastime, if she so chooses.

Being a professional in the sport has its downfalls when you are also the mother. Our philosophy with Taylor has always been to teach her to be independent and self-reliant. Horse care is wonderful for that. She has to muck out her own stall; care for and keep track of her own equipment; and also groom, braid and present her pony for competition.

Photo courtesy of Jen McFall.

When she is desperately looking for her show pants and realizes she left them at home in the wash, the professional in me wants to buy her a new pair at the show so that she looks like a winner. Instead, I tell her to adapt and overcome, and so she wears the dirty pants that are three sizes too big with a flash noseband as a belt to hold them on.

When her pony is being tough, the rider in me wants to get on and clean his clock so that she will score higher in the dressage. But instead, I tell her that learning to compete under less than perfect conditions is much more important than getting ribbons. Is it the professional or the mother in me that wants her to win? I’m not sure. But I do know that if things are handed to you, it is hard to appreciate them. So Taylor is definitely not getting any special treatment being the trainer’s daughter.

Photo courtesy of Jen McFall.

And then there is the joy of loving and riding a pony versus competing and trying to win with a pony. Certainly, these lines should be blurred when you are just a little girl starting out in recognized events. When is it too early to be obsessed with winning? When is okay to be disappointed in your pony for not being a top performer in competition? These are tough questions for me to answer, and I am so grateful that Taylor spends more time on her pony bareback than worrying about winning her next show.

It is a bit of a circus act balancing the mother and the trainer, supporter and coach. She is so competitively natured that she will come off a fantastic round like she did at Woodside, and the first thing out of her mouth will be to ask, “What was bad?” What?! Let’s talk about what was good first! I admire that she wants to do well, so it is a struggle not to criticize her ride even though she asks me how to improve. Usually, the mother in me that simply wants to be her cheerleader and biggest fan wins out, so I tell her she was great no matter what.

Photo courtesy of Jen McFall.

This weekend at Woodside, I was full of admiration for my daughter. From start to finish, she did everything on her own, from bathing and grooming her pony, cleaning her tack, to braiding and getting herself dressed for competition. And she did it with a smile, or even a song. Because I entered late coming home from Rolex, Taylor was in the Open Beginner Novice division. Dressage is not her strongest phase, and after her test, she was 22nd out of 25 adults.

Nonetheless, she forged on and never gave in to feeling inadequate. Instead, she continued to compete and with two double clear jumping rounds on her fantastic pony; she moved all the way up to 12th. I’m pretty sure there is a lesson in there for me in the way she handled herself. I had better think about that before my next competition at Copper Meadows!

Photo courtesy of Jen McFall.

Update:

Jen and Taylor both competed at Rebecca Farm last weekend, Jen in the CIC3* division and Taylor in the Junior Open Novice division. Both ladies had successful weekends, Jen placing 10th in the CIC3* with her Rolex horse, High Times, and Taylor finishing 17th in a very large and competitive division. Taylor was able to move up 11 places over the weekend after sitting in 28th place after the dressage phase.

We spoke briefly to Jen after she returned from Montana, and she had nothing but wonderful things to say about her experiences:

“The 2014 Event at Rebecca Farm did not disappoint, with new additions to the CIC*** course, FEH and YEH classes, a great trade fair, and of course, an exhibitor-friendly policy that is second to none. The Team Dragonfire Young Horses enjoyed the Montana sunshine while they strutted their stuff on Wednesday. Both the winning Four Year Old, Axiom DF and the second placed Five Year Old, Classic Twain DF, wore the Therawool Square Pads in their top placing performances. Our young horses gained valuable experience, both in the competition as well as during the event, where they could practice without pressure and hack out in Big Sky Country.”

“Taylor was overwhelmed with support in her pony fundraising. The Eventing Community is truly a marvel and I am not sure she will understand the scope of kindness that is around her because she is growing up in it, but I certainly do. Thanks to all that bought Pony Puffs, participated in her Raffle, and to Gamal and Taylor Miles for washing trucks with her, because Taylor now has a solid start in her effort to purchase Prince. Although their Dressage is still a work in progress, they were no less than stellar over the big Novice track at Rebecca and finished the course double clear. She was thrilled to be representing Team Fleeceworks and the new pony pad line, and I’m pretty sure Prince thought it was cool too to be wearing such comfortable pads!”

“I had the best show of my career on High Times, minus a pesky piloting error on cross country that proved to be very costly. Our Dressage was fantastic, and feels to be something I will be able to repeat! And our show jump round was dynamic, thanks in part to his Perfect Balance Close Contact Squarepad. The Stadium was big and tricky, with everything related, and Billy’s four fault round was one of the best of the day. I can’t wait to compete again and put all of pieces together, it feels like I nearly have the Rubik’s Cube finished!”

Taylor had previously said that her goal was to finish on her dressage score, and she came very close, knocking one rail in show jumping to add four penalties. They did go double clear on their cross country course, which is quite impressive! Well done, Taylor!

Both Jen and Taylor utilized Fleeceworks’ FXK Halfpad, which has really helped both High Times and Kilbarry Prince with their backs and saddle fit. Here’s a quick review on this great pad that is useful for riders of multiple disciplines!