5 Reasons Horseback Riding Isn’t as Romantic as Everyone Seems to Think

Reason #1: Farts.

[top image: Flickr user Mike Baird]

Maybe this is something horse people just have to get used to…but I never quite understood why horseback riding has a reputation as something romantic that couples can do together. Galloping along the beach, picnics in the forest–sure it sounds great, but what about all the time spent actually teaching your beloved to ride so he or she doesn’t die in the process?

As my fiance has recently started learning to ride, it’s been quite a process of finding a safe horse,  a knowledgeable instructor and acquiring all the gear…including a hideous bug-eyed alien helmet he thinks looks cool. Rewarding? Yes. Fun? Yes. Romantic? Uh…not so much, unless you find a dust-filled summer arena to be equivalent to a candlelit dinner.

I know I’m preaching to the choir here. But I thought I’d do a little myth-busting.

Myth: Horseback riding makes for a  romantic date!

Reality: Buying a Groupon to bus you away from the city to go on a nose-to-tail trail ride with a bunch of other couples and a trail guide.

[Flickr:kissheartoffl]

Myth: My significant other can learn to ride on my horse!

Reality: Your significant other can learn what dirt tastes like. (Or worse.)

Myth: We can go riding and then have a picnic in the woods!

Reality: Inevitably forgetting something important like lead ropes, then standing around with your backs all sweaty from carrying food in a backpack, while holding the horses and eating sandwiches. Not bad, but not quite as envisioned.

Honey, do you remember where we tied the horses?

[b4tea]

Myth: We can ride down the aisle and be married on horseback!

Reality: Oh boy. Where to start? (Believe me, the list goes on.)

[icanhascheezburger]

[Youtube: David Fisher]

Myth: When we retire, we can move out to the country and have horses!

Reality: Older couple, overhorsed by trying to find a deal on Craigslist, with an money-gobbling pasture ornament.

[Wikimedia Commons: GeoGraph Bot]

Go Riding (with or without your significant other)!