Best of Craigslist: ‘ PLEASE! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! SOMEBODY BUY THIS HORSE! – $650’

And the title isn’t even the best part of the ad.

Many thanks to reader Ashlynn K. for sending this one our way:

PLEASE! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! SOMEBODY BUY THIS HORSE! – $650

About Snuggie:

She’s a 22 year old, registered Tennessee Walking mare(Finale’s Dream). 15h, she’s pretty neurotic in her stall and loves to weave and pace. Because of her weaving/pacing ability in the stall, she pulverizes her manure into a fine power, so essentially she cleans her own stall. If she’s turned out with a group of horses, she doesn’t weave and pace, so you will have to clean up the manure yourself. She’s a hard keeper because of her high-strung, nervous tendencies. She has all her own teeth and isn’t blind or crippled. Under saddle she isn’t no baby-sitter, but she’s a very fun, safe ride. She neck reins…when she wants to and she moves off your leg if you make her. She parks out until you try to get on. She normally can do a pretty good running walk, but sometimes she forgets she’s gaited and she tries to trot. Her lope is pathetic, but she can do it. She’s not spooky and she’s as surefooted as a Tennessee Walker can be in the mountains. She also rides alone crosses water and I’ve never seen her buck, bolt, bite, rear or kick.. I don’t think she knows how to. She’s definitely not the brightest horse, but she doesn’t have a mean bone in her. She has a great whoa and is excellent for riding though dense brush because she’s so skinny. We’re asking $650 for her obo. Located in Cold Creek, NV

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Another one, from the same seller:

APHA and PtHA flashy mare 2 BLUE eyes – $2500

Meet “Mamma Mia!”
Dual registered APHA and PtHA mare. Skipababyneigh/Miss Momma Mia.15.2h, will be 13 in May. She’s a real catch!

Call her out in the pasture and she comes to you every time, like a loyal dog….just to pin her ears back at you after she catches you. Maybe she’s pissed off that her cribbing collar is cranked down tight to keep her from floating her own teeth? She’s so sweet and friendly and I think it’s a ploy to make you even more crushed when she gives you the death stare. Don’t worry, she only does it on days that end in a “Y”. She’s got big blue, cold as ice, eyes, that captivate you every time you look at her. She loves to be loved on, kissed, groomed, anything that will make her feel better about herself. And I really think she can’t help her ears pinned back look, just like the actress Renee Zellweger can’t help her just-sucked-on-a-lemon look. It just comes natural.

Oh, and she has been known to rear.

Ok, now that I got that off my chest….

She’s EXCELLENT under saddle. Like I said, she’s a real catch. You’d be honored to own her. Never need to lunge her out. Very brave on the trails, surefooted, sound, tall, just a sweet, sweet ride. Not spooky. She neck reins, direct reins, bends, flexes, moves off leg pressure, has a great whoa, rides alone or with groups. Nice lope or gallop. She trailers well, is easy to shoe. I’ve never seen her bite, kick, bolt or buck….thank god.

Videos of her on Youtube.com/ColdCreekian

$2500 obo. I’m very negotiable if she goes to the right home. Located in Cold Creek, NV

Wow. Readers, if you run across an “interesting” ad in your Internet wanderings, send it our way! Email the link to [email protected]. Who knows–maybe you’ll help connect a horse with a safe, loving home. Go Riding.