7 Things Your Horse Could Sue You For

You might not think of horses as particularly litigious animals, but you’d be surprised. By Carley Sparks.

From Carley:

RateMyHorsePro devotes an entire highly informative and vaguely depressing section of its site to the latest lawsuits in the equestrian world. You’ll find criminal cases involving arson, animal cruelty, and theft. Civil cases on forgery, negligence, and obstruction of justice. And even cases involving RateMyHorsePro.

What you won’t find are any cases being spearheaded by horses. Not even one. And that’s not right. Everyone deserves his day in court.

I consulted an expert to see what we could do about that. Taimi Williamson is a lawyer and lifelong equestrian. She formerly practice equine law and, being the trailblazer that she is, has not ruled out taking on equine clients one day.

Here are seven things Williamson says your horse could sue you for…

1. Breach of contract

“My sale agreement said I was a hunter. Why am I jumping against a clock in this unruly fashion?”

Source: equestrianbitch.tumblr.com via Natalie on Pinterest

2. Slander

Trashing your horse out loud? You’re going pay for that.

“I heard that!”

3. Libel

Ditto for trashing your horse on Twitter.

4. Negligence

Bad distances to the jump, inadequate waterproofing of turnout rugs, failure to provide carrots—these are just three crimes that could land you in court.

[Wikimedia Commons]

5. Medical Malpractice

“Last I checked, you didn’t have a veterinary degree.”

“DIY artificial insemination? Good idea!” Said no horse. Ever.

[ffffound.com]

6. Misrepresentation

“You promised if I went into the wash stall you wouldn’t wash my head!”

“Any closer with that hose and you’ll be hearing from my lawyer.”

[mypetshut.com]

7. Class Action

For every horse that was ever forced to wear a Santa hat…

It’s called “emotional distress.”

[statelinetack.com]

Or given a stupid name.

Do I look like a “Chicken” to you? I didn’t think so.

[rideaprettypony.blogspot.com]

Consider yourself warned.

Carley Sparks provides mostly-true coverage of hunter/jumper sport in North America at getmyfix.org. Stop by! It’s fun there.

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