Best of Craigslist: Bad ad blowout extravaganza
Horse Nation’s inbox has been stuffed gloriously full this week with terrible Craigslist ads sent to us by readers. Here are a few of our favorites…
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From Craiglist Knoxville, TN via Kalin Craig:
I have a big fat app I just got in on trade I don’t know to much a bout it. But was told it rode good but I have not rode it. Call or text 865-680-8057
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From San Diego, CA via Kerry Rogers, who writes, “Somehow, I don’t think RALPH LAUREN would be impressed……..”
HORSE COLLER / early 1900 – $200 (San Diego)
Its a great peace, really sets the cowboy mood in any space. It has a very Ralf Loran vibe to it. If interested please call—Gary—619-286-5680. Do not e-mail, just call.
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From Houston, TX via Jennifer Higby Patterson, who writes, “WOW!!! At least they are honest…”
EXPERIENCED RANCH HORSE WHO NEEDS AN EXPERIENCED RIDER – $600 (RICHMOND – ROSENBERG)
LUCKY IS A 10 YEAR OLD GRADE QUARTER HORSE GELDING. HE IS SORREL WITH 4 WHITE STOCKINGS AND A BLAZE. HE IS REALLY PRETTY AND FLASHY. HE WILL GET YOU NOTICED. HERE IS THE ONLY THING, HIS NAME IS LUCKY BECAUSE HE IS LUCKY THAT I HAVE NOT SHOT HIM YET. HE WILL BUCK AND IT IS NOT PREDICTIBLE. YOU MAY GET ON HIM AND RIDE HIM FOR HOURS ( HE DOES GREAT WITH COWS AND HAS BEEN A 3 D BARREL HORSE) AND THEN HE GOES FROM GOOD RIDING HORSE TO SADDLE BRONC. OR MAYBE HE WILL LET YOU RIDE HIM FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS, WEEKS, EVEN MONTHS; THEN YOU GET ON HIM ONE DAY AND HE IS LIKE “LET’S RODEO!” YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN HE IS GONNA BUCK, YOU JUST HAVE TO KNOW THAT HE WILL. HE WILL KEEP YOU ON YOUR TOES. HE IS NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART. HE IS FAST, QUICK, CATTY, AND STRONG! BUT ONCE HE BUCKS THEN HE GOES BACK TO GOOD RIDING HORSE. HE HAS AN EXCELLENT HANDLE ON HIM – NECK REINS, SPINS, SLIDING STOPS. YOU CAN DO JUST ABOUT ANYTHING ON HIM. HOWEVER WHEN YOU GET READY TO THROW YOU LEG OVER HIM YOU MUST ASK YOURSELF ” DO I FEEL LUCKY TODAY?” THIS IS NOT FOR BEGINNERS, TRAIL RIDERS, OR KIDS. I WILL NOT SELL HIM TO ANYONE WHO IS NOT AN EXPERIENCED RIDER AND WHO DOES NOT UNDERSTAND HIS QUIRKS. HE HAS NOT BEEN RIDDEN IN SERVERAL MONTHS AND I WILL NOT RIDE HIM TO SHOW HIM TO YOU. IF YOU ARE INTERESTED YOU ARE MORE THAN WELCOME TO BRING YOUR SADDLE AND TRY HIM. HE IS A GREAT HORSE WHO JUST HAS “FLASHBACKS” TO ANOTHER TIME AND PLACE, I THINK. REMEMBER COWBOYS AND COWGIRLS ALL YOU GOTTA DO IS ASK YOURSELF ” DO I FEEL LUCKY, WELL DO YOU?”
ASKING $600.00 OR BEST OFFER. PLEASE EMAIL OR CALL 9879-583-8325 FOR MORE INFORMATION.
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From Craigslist San Diego from reader Kerry Rogers, who writes, “Because we don’t already have a good idea what this might look like?”
free horse/alpaca/sheep manure (poway)
Pick up saturday or sunday morning only.
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From Houston, TX via reader Kendall Walsh:
Registered Quarter Horse Gelding Reduced $600 – $1000 (Magnolia)
His Name is Bubba
He is 15 + HH
He is between 15 and 18 years old
He is a Team Roping Horse- Head side
He can pin cows nearly on his own
He is Registered with papers
He stands for Ferrier
He stands untied for baths and grooming
If you choose you can load and unload yourself onto him without him being tied
He has wonderful ground manners
He is very sweet and affectionate for a horse-a personality like Mr. Ed
He is easy to catch. He comes to you with a whistle, most times you don’t even need to whistle, he will just come when he sees you
He is not particular on his rider, he’s ok with (experienced kids, he is not a first time rider for a child), men and women
There is not a mean bone in his body, he does not have a buck in him
He works hard when its time to work and has no problem having fun when its time to have fun
hes done trail rides, we did 20 miles on him in one day on a trail ride
He does not spook at anything
He is great with other horses, goats, chickens, alpaca, llama, dogs, ducks, mini horses, emu. He has been packed in with the aforementioned animals on several different occasions.
As far as I know he does not ride English nor have I ever jumped on him bareback, but Im sure he would be fine for bareback
If you are interested in Bubba please contact Amber @ 832-296-477seven
He does not have a current Coggins, $25 will buy you one.
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From Killeen, TX via Emily, who writes, “This one sounds like it was written by Google translate.”
Pretty Mare thoroughbred – $1000 (Mart)
Promise is a Thoroughbred Mare she was born in January 2002. She is a Calm Healthy Horse. I rescued her she was real skinny her weight is coming up but needs more work. She is sweet as can be great when bathing and grooming. Picks up all for feet without Problems. I just had her Teeth floated which was the number one problem of her weight loss. She has been wormed and is on High Protein Grains. The People I got her from said that she rides very well. She loves to be groomed and played with she is a super calm Mare. Also they said that she has had a baby about 7 month ago. I like her to go to a good home were she gets her feeding on time and enough for her body. She is a Thoroughbred standing at 16 Hands wish you know they eat more then a smaller Horse.Only replay if you really Interested in giving her a forever home. She is also great with Kids no kick buck or any bad behaviors. She gets along good with other horses.
Feel free to contact me 254-339-4298 with any questions or to meet Promise
$1000 OBO
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From Lexington, KY via Kelly, who writes, “Perfect way to advertise a stud for sale – not!”
3 yr old stud – $500 (nicholasville)
my 8 year old daughter is selling her pet she has raised 3 year stud lead broke very well behaved. 500.00 or best offer call or text 859-351-0327 for more info
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From Lexington, KY via Kelly, who writes, “Poor 2 year old.”
Solid White TWH – (Rockcastle Co)
Meet Snowfake she stands round 14.2 she is 2 yr old, very good natured filly…..Asking $700 if interested call or text 6o6~3o8`3447, thanks………
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From Western Slope, CO via Ashley Woodvine, who sent us this ad:
Big Paint Stud looking for Mares – $500 (Montrose/Kinikin)
Saved this big guy from starvation off another property a few months back. Now money is tight and are looking to stud him out. His name is Hotshot and he is the biggest Paint we have seen around here…. you could almost say he has 5 legs instead of 4. Curtis – 462-thirtyfour 00. Thanks
And then noticed this Craigslist post, which seems to be a response to the first one:
EVERYONE BEWARE THERE R SEVERAL PROBLEMS W THE STUD AND PPL THAT OWN HIM. FOR ONE ITS GETTING WAY TO LATE TO BE BREEDING. THIS STUD IS NOT PAPERED AND DOES NOT HAVE GOOD BLOODLINES. THEY JUST WANT MONEY. ALSO HE IS A DANGEROUS STUD W MARES PLEASE DONT BREED TO THIS STUD HE HAS ONLY ONE EYE AND NO MANNERS AT ALL HE IS NOT SAFE HE WILL HURT UR MARE HE CAME FROM A PLACE AFTER KILLING 2GELDINGS AND HURTING 3 MARES VERY BAD THIS STUD NEEDS PUT DOWN
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A note from the editor: Nobody loves horses more than HN readers, and it is always our greatest hope when re-posting these ads that perhaps the horses featured will be connected with a safe, caring home. If you’re in the market for an equine, please remember all the unwanted horses out there–maybe one of them is just waiting for an owner like you.
If you stumble across a “unique” horsey classified ad in your Internet wanderings, share it with Horse Nation! Email the link to [email protected].
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