‘The Equestrian’: The greatest dressage movie you’ve never heard of, deconstructed

This “dark psychological drama” has been making its rounds at independent film festivals this year. Let’s have a look.

Here’s the synopsis, from The Equestrian‘s Facebook page:

Freddie is a talented young dressage rider. Gaius is his fearless stallion. Their relationship has made them a marvel to watch. Today, these two athletes arrive at the threshold of what should prove a dazzling grand prix career. But what happens to a partnership when pride and vanity sets one party against the other?

A dark psychological drama, “The Equestrian” is a thrilling, new telling of a familiar story of how a close relationship can be riven by vanity and ambition, where the splintered bonds of loyalty and trust must be reformed through redemption and forgiveness.

Whoa, that sounds pretty deep. Here’s the trailer:

[invitusinvitam]

WHAT?!?! Hmm. How about let’s deconstruct this thing scene by scene:

0:04 – A deeply troubled young dressage rider.

0:07 – A father whose hardened exterior belies the fact that, on the inside, he’s a real softie.

0:10 – Like a hard-boiled egg.

0:13 – That’s called symbolism, y’all.

0:17 – Cue dramatic trailer music. Enter majestic black stallion. Things are about to get real.

0:22 – Very important dressage press conference. Everybody’s looking at you, kid. Say the wrong thing and you might get blackballed by Dressage Today. No pressure.

0:23 – Wait, is that Carl Hester?

0:22 – Like, 2012 Olympic team gold medalist CARL HESTER?

0:23 – Um, random.

0:24 – Cut to another dressage montage, as the music gains in intensity.

0:30 – Dramatic shower scene. I can’t handle this, WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT

0:33 – More dressage, duh. If you’re going to be a champion and beat that smug old Carl Hester, you’ve got to train, like, ALL the time.

0:36 – Wait! Something terrible has happened.

0:40 – He fell off…

0:45 – And now the horse is running around like crazy!

0:48 – It’s a dressage horse gone mad.

0:52 – Guess who’s in charge now, kid.

0:57 – THIS GUY.

0:58 – Yeah, you SHOULD be scared.

1:02 – All these years you’ve been making me practice dressage over and over, never once asking me how I felt, never caring about what I wanted, about my hopes and dreams. It was always just ME, ME, ME. Well, kid, that ends today. It ends right here. Look me in the eye, and tell me I’m the boss. No more half-pass, no more passage. I CALL THE SHOTS FROM NOW ON, KID.

(Also, why is his mane braided?)

1:04 – The final ultimatum.

I mean, I guess? Until the whole “stomp you to death” bit, that horse looked pretty broke to me. Maybe he’s just burnt out and needs to go on a trail ride or something.

Anyway, that’s The Equestrian. For more about the film, go to www.facebook.com/theequestrianfilm or follow it on Twitter @equestrianfilm.

Go Riding.

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