Breaking News: Rolex is NOT cancelled

We apologize for any confusion. Also, we have some really bad news about the Tooth Fairy.

In all seriousness, John sent me a disturbing text this morning that read as followed: “Hey, I’m told people are believing Rolex is cancelled (referencing our April Fool’s Day prank story). Can you make some note that it’s a joke?”

Really?

You guys really believed our story that giant sinkholes, thought to be connected to a “network of underground caverns once used by area bootleggers to distill moonshine,” opened up throughout the park? That many park features, including the Bruce Davidson statue, got swallowed whole? You believed that, against the FEI’s concern that small children and/or Land Rovers might get lost in the holes, the USEA argued that the show must go on, saying, “Eventers are like honeybadgers. They don’t give a $h!t about sinkholes. They’ll jump that $h!t.”

REALLY?!?!?

Public Service Announcement: It was a joke.